


Pen & Paper

by shicchaan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: I don't know what am i writing about, M/M, Suga isn't even properly announced here, idk if i will continue this but yeah, im just trying to write again sobs, just erasing a writer's block, writer Oikawa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:15:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28711875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shicchaan/pseuds/shicchaan
Summary: the uncertainties of inspiration ended the will of Oikawa Tooru to keep on writing.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 9
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

Being a writer, there’s a lot of things that need to be stable. From your plot to your characters that you have given life, to the words that become your character’s oxygen to live on,

And especially, your inspiration. 

Inspiration will be the boat that keeps you floating from the sea. That will bring you to the places and make you see every bit of beautiful sky. From the beautiful sunrise to the lovely sunset. That boat will keep you away from the angry storms and harsh waves as you travel on the sea. Inspiration will be the boat that if it sunk, you will lose not only your transportation the beautiful island waiting for you at the end but also, you will also lose your life. The life that you have been taking care of for a long time.

Inspiration can be tricky, It’s like letting you get in into the smallest boat or the biggest yacht without even knowing where are you going. You don’t know how strong your water transportation will be. You don’t know if you’re going to sink or you will end up going down on the yacht peacefully as you reached your destination.

Your inspiration will sometimes make you feel like you’re walking on the thin ice, making you doubt yourself if you’re going to make it without breaking the ice, making you doubt if you’re still going to continue.

And the uncertainties of inspiration ended the will of Oikawa Tooru to keep on writing. 

The brunette is laying on his bed, eyes upon the ceiling of his room that is full of glowing in the dark stars while his arms are under his head; the brain is wondering around why he hasn’t written anything for how many weeks now. For a writer who has been consistently writing ever since he is a child, It’s not easy for Oikawa Tooru to why his fingers aren’t typing on his laptop and why his eyes are still not straining for staying up typing for hours. This.. Is very terrifying to him.

While his ears are listening to the mixture of cold air hitting his opened window and the loud bustling streets of Tokyo, he closes his eyes, trying to make a scenario in his head. Thinking of something that he could write in the middle of a busy night but instead of coming up with an idea, he ended up just begging his head to work, even physically whining at the fact that he is getting mentally exhausted without even working... Without even making even a single chapter for his new work. 

Usually, when he closes his eyes, words or even small scenarios that can help his novel will flow in his veins. It’s usually restless. His brain is always telling him to pick up his notepad and write those scenarios while his eyes are closed and his back is leaning on the headboard of his bed. 

Usually, The cold air of Tokyo and also the horns of the angry drivers are the noises that made his brain work, making him think of what could happen under his apartment, on what’s happening outside of his home. 

But now, as he closes his eyes, his brain is like a blank canvas. All can Oikawa see is the darkness, making him feel lost and helpless, thinking how words should be easy for him at the moment. How the inspiration should be flowing naturally like blood circulating in his body. 

But then, Why?

He doesn’t know what it is... What’s the reason why his brain stopped working. 

He doesn’t even know how to know it when aside from your brain, you also feel empty. 

Like every other night from the past weeks, Oikawa closes his eyes with a sigh, falling asleep with the moon illuminating his blanket and the wonderful aroma of the cherry blossom is flowing inside of his room. 

\--

Oikawa sits down on one of the benches of the park. The sun is shining brightly yet the sun rays don’t burn on his skin instead, the cold air of spring is hitting on his face, making the day so beautiful as it should be. Sadly, the brunette cannot enjoy the scenery, because his face is covered with a mask, his head a little dizzy and his hands are icy cold. Regardless of what he is feeling, he still chooses to go out, hoping that the change of environment will make him pick up some inspiration for his book. 

Looking around, his eyes just meet the group of people who enjoys the weather by having a picnic together with their loved ones. Oikawa noticed how the park is suddenly occupied with different people hence, different voices disturb his head, the cries of a small child and a whisper of comfort coming from their playmate, waves of laughter coming from the chattering adults made his head heavier.

He leans his head on the bench, leaning his head and staring at the sky instead. He tries to remember what the different forms of clouds forming in the sky were called when a guy suddenly blocked the view that he is seeing but instead of getting annoyed, he tries to intake what the side profile of the guy was like.

_Silver hair… Hazel brown eyes… a mole under his doe eyes... Blue scarf... Long coat… He looks kind of small, Is he a college student? Mhm..._

The brunette’s gaze went up to the stranger’s face and then he realizes that the guy is also staring at him back, curiosity yet the lost expression is plastered on his face, “He’s lost and he’s going to come to me.” is what Oikawa thinks when his brown eyes meet the hazel ones.

“Uh... Excuse me..” The silver-haired started, fingers fidgetting on the phone that he holding yet his eyes are looking straight on the brunette’s eyes. Oikawa sits on the bench properly, eyes are still calculating the guy’s face. “Can I ask where the Crow’s nest is?.. Uh. It’s my first time here and..” The guy scratches his nape, a small awkward smile shows up on his lips. “I guess, I am lost?”

_“You are indeed lost”_ Oikawa snorts from the inside, for sure that his lips are already forming into a form but then since the mask is covering it, he doesn’t have to worry about coming off as rude to the other guy. The silverette is still waiting for his answer, his hands are now on the pocket of his coat. Oikawa’s eyes followed the movement, the guy seems like he is taking something from his own pocket.

“Just cross the road and the first cafe that you will see, That’s the Crow’s nest,” Oikawa said, forcing himself to open up his mouth and making his voice loud and stable for the other to hear, and with that, the stranger nodded, smiling widely. “Thank you so much.” The guy bows before leaving, making Oikawa’s forehead scrunches as he heard a soft _meow_ came after the guy said thank you so he looks around, finding where the cat is but when he turns his gaze to the guy, Oikawa saw a small kitten crawling up from the silver haired’s pocket and climbs up to the guy’s shoulder and when Oikawa looks at him to look what expression he has, the guy seems happy about the kitten. 

The weird thing doesn’t end there, The silver-haired put his hand up and _snaps_ his fingers and when he does, a crow flew towards him and stands on his head.

_What is he? An animal whisperer?_ Oikawa thinks as he leans down again to the bench, closing his eyes with a small smile.

_It seems like he already found the main character of his story._


	2. Chapter 2

_ Did he hear it right?  _

_ The black crow opened its mouth and words came out from its mouth instead of those loud raspy cry! _

_ His round eyes became wider, blinking when the crow sitting on the top of his table expressed its worry with words. Taken aback, Hotaru pushes the table away resulting in him stumbling back down on the floor.  _

_ “Please!” The black crow said as it wags its wings in the air. “We need you!” It begged… _

Oikawa lets out a sigh as he leans on the chair where he was sitting. He fixes his glasses before blowing his bangs away from his forehead. It’s been days since the last time his  _ main character _ . The idea of his book started to form in his head since then. He thought that he is already ready to write even when with a little inspiration.

But it seems like something is lacking. 

He cannot figure it out. His words… It wasn’t as eye-catching as it is. It’s frustrating!

Writing is supposed to be his hobby. It’s is an escape for him ever since he was a child. There were a lot of ideas in his small mind. It always started from curiosity until it started to evolve into small scenarios and little he did know, he already finished a whole book in his head. 

It was fine at first until it became overwhelming, making him pick up his notebook that was full of doodles and turn it into his own draft. It was his world before. He created a world with the pieces of paper and pen that he’s using to create such a masterpiece. 

_ “Tooru! You’re so fixated on your notebook! I brought you to catch bugs with me!” A ten-year-old tanned Iwaizumi Hajime said while stomping his feet on the grass that he is standing on. His glare is already hard enough to make the brunette look up at him but due to the high intensity of focus that Oikawa Tooru has, Iwaizumi had to throw a tantrum in order to get Oikawa’s attention.  _

_ “Huh? Ah. Yes, But Iwa-chan! I am already at my climax!” Oikawa said distractedly, eyes and hands are still working on the notebook but at least, he already paid attention to the other kid but then Iwaizumi is still a child, he also has that curiosity with him, making him pull the notebook away from his friend’s hands.  _

_ “I wonder what you are writing about.” Iwaizumi said- it was mostly a mumble to himself as he turned down the whines of Oikawa in his head as the brunette keeps on begging him to give his notebook back while Iwaizumi decided to flipped back the obviously used limp notebook and started reading the brunette’s work from the start. Knowing that Iwaizumi will not give his notebook back until he finished, Oikawa just leaned on the stone where he was sitting and pouted there.  _

_ He waited for minutes and minutes. _

_ The minutes turned into an hour.  _

_ Oikawa refused to look at Iwaizumi’s face. He didn’t want to see what Iwaizumi was thinking about. He doesn’t want to see the disgust on his friend’s face as the latter read his work. He doesn’t want his friend to call him a big ass nerd after reading his notebook. Iwaizumi is the first person that is able to touch his precious notebook. He is the first one who was able to read Oikawa’s work and Oikawa is not ready for any insults that may come with someone other than him reading his work. _

_ “Is this really your work?” _

_ Oikawa hears. His eyes are already closed. Oikawa nodded. He doesn’t know if he wants to know how his own best friend thinks of his piece or not. He wants to cover his ear. He really wants to. _

_ “Hell, Tooru! This is amazing. Can I bring this to Makki and Mattsun? They will like this.”  _

_ But he didn’t. _

_ Hearing what Iwaizumi said made him open his eyes.  _

_ He turns his head to his best friend, the latter is having a soft smile on his lips while his eyes are still looking at the notebook. He looks... Excited. Oikawa blinks his eyes when Iwaizumi’s curious gaze turns to him, making him realize that he hasn't answered Iwaizumi’s question yet.  _

_ “Uh... Sure..” Oikawa said, eyes are lost and his lips are forming into an ‘o’. He still cannot believe that someone had read his work and liked it. After a while of having a shock on his veins, with a call of his name coming from the other kid, he stands up with a smile on his lips. It feels nice to have someone complimenting your work.  _

And that’s where his writing journey has started. Their other friends, Matsukawa Issei and Hanamaki Takahiro liked it too much, and apparently, Hanamaki’s father is an editor to a decent book publishing company in their area and at a young age, people have known Oikawa Tooru as a writer, making him what he is now.

Writing for him started as a hobby. He never considered that it would give him a spotlight in their area. Yes, writing gave him a lot of opportunities and made him meet a lot of people- awesome people. It was the reason why he moved from Sendai to Tokyo, in order to explore himself but then, Writer’s block was not supposed to feel like this. 

Oikawa feels like he has lost something that determines his worth. Writing is still a hobby for him right now. It wasn’t an occupation for him, really. Though he publishes books every now and then with the help of Hanamaki’s parents and gives him something that is enough for it to be considered as living, it wasn’t his main occupation.

It was still a hobby. 

A hobby that makes him question himself. A hobby that makes him feel like he is under the water, making him feel light-headed yet his body feels so heavy. His heart feels so heavy. It seems like his soul is aching for something. It is aching for him to write again. He knows he can but,

He just can’t right now.

With a heavy heart, he decided to close his document and turn off his computer as he prepares for his work. 

\--

It is easy to fool people with a smile. It was engraved in him how to smile with a customer not only for the customer service- which he needs to be more polite but also to charm them enough so they will come back to their shop once again. It was like that, business and services. 

He works at this cafe where he manages together with his childhood friends, Iwaizumi who became their Patissier, Matsukawa who manages their finances, and Hanamaki who’s helping Oikawa make the drinks. As a writer, Coffee shops are a safe place for him. It’s quiet, the atmosphere is peaceful and lovely, the drinks are helping him to stay awake and the soft noises of people softly talking to each other and the sounds of the coffee machine working is making him still connect with reality despite being indulged with the world he’s creating as he writes. It was comforting, the coffee shop is comforting, it makes him feel at ease. Especially right now that his mind is going places. 

Interacting with people helps him to distract himself for a while, being all smiley and outgoing to most of the customers seems to help him. Yet, he is still looking around for something that will contribute to his head. Is the girl typing on her laptop something that Oikawa can create a scenario with? Or the couple on the other side of the cafe will help him think of something that he can write? 

Observing the customers while working is something that he does. It’s like refreshing his mind all over again as different people come and go inside the store. Observing people tends to help him to build a character or think of a scenario. Where a normal day for customers is a big help for Oikawa’s brain to write something

But again, everything feels blank. 

Oikawa feels like sulking at the side, not until he saw a mop of silver hair on the entrance of the shop. The silver-haired walks towards the counter, that’s when he realizes that it is his  _ main character  _ coming towards him! 

“Oh. It’s you! The sick guy in the park. How are you doing now?” Oikawa opens his mouth and closes his again, he feels like this guy is tricking him. Does he recognize Oikawa? Really? When the brunette is covered with cloth from head to toe? 

“Ah. Yes.” Oikawa smiles, of course, especially that Oikawa feels like his day brightened, giving that he feels that the little inspiration that he has in his head will grow if this  _ animal whisperer  _ will give him something ridiculous to help him think with something. It’s his  _ main character  _ standing in front of him anyway. “I am actually doing fine and healthy now. Thank you for asking. So what can I get for you?”

Nothing new happened, It’s Oikawa asking for the order, The silver-haired said it and paid for it while Oikawa said the estimated time that his order will take. Nothing new, It’s something that Oikawa has been doing all day. He was doing the guy’s order until he heard the same familiar soft meow coming from the shorter guy. He turns to the silver-haired and looked at him.

“Hello, I am sorry..”

“Suga.”

“I am sorry, Suga but animals are currently not allowed in our shop-” 

_ Suga  _ smiles and said, “Yes I know. Now, will you please do the honor to bring me my order outside please?” 

Oikawa almost let out a snort because this guy is indeed bold but instead he let out a chuckle and nodded. “Sure. Anything for you.” He said, making  _ Suga  _ laugh and then, he heard the bells from the front door ring when he continued making the drinks indicating that someone opened the door. Oikawa throws a glance after a second and he sees  _ Suga  _ squatting on the floor and patting a small black kitten beside the window. Oikawa smiles.  _ He really seems to love animals. Maybe he is really an animal whisperer.  _ He said to himself while he makes the drinks with a smile. 

When he finished the silver-haired’s order he packed it up and went outside the shop. Suga immediately looked up at him, taking the kitten up in his arms as he thanked Oikawa for bringing him his order. Oikawa wants to open his mouth and ask for something from him. He doesn’t know what it is. He just wants to keep talking with this  _ Suga  _ as he figures out that he is interesting. 

But he is on his shift and he will never hear the end of Iwaizumi’s sermon when the guy learned that Oikawa is outside and talking to a customer. He huffs to himself before smiling, He is about to say his farewell when Suga handed him a tissue paper.

“You have the most entrancing brown eyes I've ever seen. I would love to keep talking to you.”

Oikawa looks down on the tissue paper and the number is written onto the thin piece of paper. It’s not the first time that he receives something like this but still, he didn’t expect that something that he is actually contemplating a while ago is in his hands already.

He looks up to tear his eyes away from the paper but then, Suga is already missing from the spot where he was standing a while ago. Oikawa looks around to find him but the busy streets of Tokyo didn’t let him as a bunch of people suddenly occupy the road, making Oikawa just let out a sigh and walk inside the coffee shop while pushing the paper inside his pocket. 

_ It seems like this is not an end, My main character,  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> > unedited, un-betad as usual  
> > i just feel like putting this on completed already since i am not really committed to this. This is like a brainstorming for me but yeah, maybe i will put some chapters every now and then until i created another oisuga brainrot in my head hahaha.


End file.
